If you dress like this:

This will happen to you:

*Note: While yes, St. Patrick’s Day is Tuesday, people in the Buffalo rock out the Sunday before with a parade and massive public drinking bingefest. This is the telling of events on Sunday.

I’m never up for the St. Paddy’s Day Celebration Drunktardathon. The parade passes by and I’m fast asleep, not waking till 4-5pm. When I finally rustle, it’s to a wasteland Elmwood Village, pillaged and plundered by fratboys and orange skinned women. The trashing is so bad and ridiculous that last year someone busted Hero and Sound’s front window and made off with a buttload of Labbits. Because of that, I pledged to help Mark and Beth “guard the fort” this year… to brave the muffin tops and sidewalk peeings, and have a little bit of fun in the process.

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Seriously. We had the pleasure of having Chi Chi LaRue as a special guest DJ at Club Marcella for Valentine’s Day. Porn Mogul with a Superstar Drag Persona, who knew she was also a banging DJ?

We don’t often have guest DJ’s at Marcies. Why?

• Our resident DJ’s, Charles Masters and DJ Xotec, are pretty fabulous.
• Most guest bookings are bamboozled by a promoter who in turn fails to produce a crowd to offset the ridiculous booking fee.
• Most guest Dj’s are unprepared for the musically fickle Buffalo crowd.
• They only wanna spin for an hour or so, then go off to do blow for a bit, leaving our house dj’s to save the floor.
• They smell. God, I’m all for UK DJ’s, but pack some motherfuckin’ Right Guard bitches (Dom & Roland).

All of this is why I was happily surprised when Chi Chi showed up and spun non-stop from 11:00 to 4:30, with only a break for the drag show. This bitch is fierce.

I was expecting a little more to her when we met, but apparently she’s almost down to her goal weight after a wonderfully successful bariatric surgery. Anyways, I was getting the half-size Chi Chi set up in the booth and when I lifted up a platform to make room for her tallness, I failed big time on the peripheral vision and bashed her shin with a 4 foot beam. Well, the tall, skinny, porn mogul drag queen was also resiliant with a sense of humor, called the impending bruise a “souvenir” and we had a great night from then on.

Chi Chi wrote about her time at Marcies on her blog at C1R.com

Last week I was in Buffalo NY at a club called Marcella. I have to admit I was not expecting much, but let me tell you, Buffalo Rocks!! The club was fantastic and the people of Buffalo are Gorgeous. The staff alone made me weak and the people that came to dance and party were totally wild. They treated me great and I DJ’ed from 11pm till 4:30 am. I can’t wait to go back, hint hint.

#tweetit

I try to take a video each night of some poor child skanking around the Pole at Club Marcella. The better ones I use for visuals, the messy ones I post to Youtube. They’ve all been messy so far. Today’s Pole Chicken is a friend of our DJ, Charles Masters, and I regularly enjoy kicking him out of the DJ booth. I like to enforce a strict, no-chicken policy in there. #tweetit