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So Long Andrea! So Long Scroll Lock

01.04.2008 @ 12:06 PM in Technology
scroll.jpg My inter-office fag hag Andrea is leaving the agency (teh day jobbie) today, and going to work for some other underpaying DDSO controlled agency, where no doubt she will miss me terribly. To help counter her impending misery I've gone about and collected a good assortment of scroll lock keys from offices around the building, to present to her along with her very own memory/key nameplate. Why the scroll locks? Well, since I'm the unofficial tech guy and MS Office guru, I get to instruct and save the day when it comes to mail merge, Excel, and other little productivity puzzles. Andrea always seems to get herself into trouble with Excel, as she manages to flip on Scroll Lock and panics when the arrow key refuses to change cells. I swear she makes me feel brilliant. I've probably fixed this "issue" for her about 6 times in the last few months. She even called me the other week when I was home sick with the flu. Diguised as a get well call from my department, I quickly learned she just wanted to know what broke in Excel.
  • "scroll lock you psycho!" I moaned.
  • "OMG! it worked! Thank you I Love you!"
Like I said, she makes me feel genius. Wikipedia says this about the scroll lock:
  • The scroll lock key is a remnant from the original IBM PC keyboard. In the original design, scroll lock was intended to modify the behavior of the arrow keys. When the scroll lock mode was on, the arrow keys would scroll the contents of a text window instead of moving the cursor. In this usage, scroll lock is a modifier key like Alt and Shift (which modify the function of other keys) and, more specifically, a toggling lock key like Num Lock or Caps Lock, which have a state that persists after the key is released. Today, this particular use of scroll lock is rare. Only a few modern programs still honor this behavior, such as Microsoft Excel (in the behavior of arrows — when scroll lock is on, the selection does not move), Lotus Notes and Forté Agent. In modern GUI environments, scrolling is usually accomplished using means such as scrollbars or scroll wheels. Therefore scroll lock can be regarded as a defunct feature in almost all modern programs and operating systems; some keyboards lack scroll lock altogether.
In other words, pretty useless. I've taken this as a great opportunity to rid the agency of future scroll lock related problems once and for all.
  • update! - Cause I'm teh gay, I had to wrap it. Because I'm teh Uber Gay, I had to draw perpendicular  and parallel lines on the paper. And Because I'm The Magnificent Gay, I handmade a German star bow.