E-tards: the lovable sweaty, twitchy messes that pop pills and proceed to give the public a show. A telltale sign of an E-tard is the unconscious desire to grind one’s teeth to the roots, random giddiness, and generally being a hot pole mess. Exhibit A is below…

Bonus!!!! – Check out the hot mess underwear contest after the jump! NSFW if you can’t watch a bunch of gay and questionably straight guys strip down to their skivvies.

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I suppose this video isn’t too messy, but it’s more about the candy raver wannabe kid. While that particular brand of hot mess is indeed flashy and amusing to watch, they are rendered useless and quite annoying when they open their mouths. This one in particular likes to try to bribe the DJ booth with handmade ponybead bracelets, as if its GID properties are enough to make us grind yet another Britney song into the mix or PCD, or something else that we’ve already played. The DJ booth is a very expensive jukebox, and pony beads just won’t cut it for a play.