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Should Office Coffee be a perk or a Convenience?

11.29.2007 @ 10:06 AM in Lifestream
mug.jpg Office Coffee comes in many flavors, colors, and smells, but we can all agree - unless you live in Seattle - that its not too particularly good. Whether 3-day old grinds, Dollar store brew, or the tar-like qualities a pot gets when its reheated for the umpteenth time, we still drink it. It's a commodity and a convenience, a welcome blessing when rushing to work so unprepared your cowlicks bear calves by noon. Sometimes the coffe pot was brought from home, if you are lucky, you have a Bunn. And its all managed under the watchful eye of the "coffee clutch" The clutch is that group of up-in-age office management bitties, the ones that order supplies and do your timesheets. They don't actually drink the coffee, though some claim fealty, but by god there is always a full jar of sugar packets and a box of creamers, straws, napkins on the table; everything you need to forget that the coffee still tastes like shit. All they ask is that you pay. Our coffee has the bittiest of crones to oversee the clutch. We have a 2 dollar/week subscription to coffee. There are 4 gallons of water at all times under the table to refill the pots, and if you empty one, yo must immediately go in search of a faucet to replenish it. Another thing, the 50cents refers to "one" serving in an 8oz. cup. I buck the trend, and incur the ice stares when I walk in with my 20oz Starbucks seasonal mug and gingerly fill to the top. I pay when I feel like it; random coins in my pocket making the jingle in drop box just loud enough to satisfy the ears of the clutch. I'm quick and determined in the morning, as i have just five minutes to walk in my lab, grab my mug and run upstairs where the clutch is sanctioned. I slosh out yesterday's stains with hot water, refill it with black death and trot downstairs, spilling a trail of black tears which are symbolic of my disdain for the morning. The other day, this email popped up, note the "Angency Wide" email.gif The clutch has been disbanded, the refrigerator moved. No more the quiet trot upstairs, coffee is now at the opposite end of the building, in the noisiest busiest room in the mornings... the cafeteria. Stealing coffee is impossible, too, you must wait in line like a poor orphan waiting for soup, mug in hand. I tried this today and immediately got into a fight with the cashier over the size of my mug and how I take up a whole pot in one shot. The upside, however, to cafeteria coffee is that Karen (the cafeteria manager) understands portions. The amount coffee you need is determined by the size of the mug you bring; $0.50 per mug. Period. Same grinds, same taste, but now I have to pay. I don't think its fair. The agency buys giant boxes of bulk office grinds from some paper supply company, The 50 cents isn't going to the people managing the clutches either, just back into the agency to "cover" the costs. Bullshit. I don't think its right that I should have to pay for something I need to ensure my happiness in a company designed to make me miserable. Coffee provides insurance against incidents and loss of patience, a very serious thing at my job. I don't wanna pay anymore, I guess I'll have to sleep with the lunch lady... again.
  • UPDATE: A few co-workers and I have decided to get our own fancy coffee pot and have our own special clutch, course I'm still paying for coffee but the principle of the matter makes us rebels.

Snap! – Christmas Mullet

11.28.2007 @ 5:46 PM in Lifestream

Snap! - Christmas Mullet

Taken 28 Nov '07, 5.46pm EST PST.

Somehow my guys weren't too thrilled with my Christmas Mullet. And they laughed at my 4 foot stocking, even though I said I was a very good boy this year. Whatever, I love the Dollar Tree! Remember those gummi mice I got a few months ago? Same place.

Snap! – Lazybear

11.28.2007 @ 12:41 AM in Lifestream

Snap! - Lazybear

Taken 28 Nov '07, 12.41am EST PST.

Watching Tv with the grumpybear. Hopefully this rash of internet and other technical issues I've been having is over. Miss you too Angel and thanks for the snap!

Last Week’s Ponderables

11.26.2007 @ 10:17 AM in Lifestream
  • Thanksgiving is an option when your family is in another state. Addtionally, if you don't enjoy turkey or giant dinners, sleeping all day is a wonderful alternative; especially if you barbacked the night before.
  • It helps to lie about your plans to do nothing for Thanksgiving, it saves dealing with the half dozen sympathetic invites to someone else family dinner so you can feel totally out of place eating food you really don't care for so someone can feel better for helping out a guy who just wanted to sleep in.
  • Coquito will mess you up.
  • Happiness is dinner parties, movies in bed, and flickr sets.
  • I only have the ability to cater emotionally to 3 people at a time.
  • Bear Cub is my favorite gay movie, Eve's Bayou is ok, Fake ID is unwatchable.
  • Oh yea, the Kindle launched, sold out on Amazon, natch. Over it.
  • I'm in love with Brobee.

Why I can’t listen to Mika

11.26.2007 @ 9:34 AM in Lifestream
[youtube width="600" height="501"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sDLKmoOjrA8[/youtube]
  • Video: Lollipop
  • Artist: Mika
  • Album: Life in Cartoon Motion
  • Released: February 2007
Mika's so gay he shits rainbows. I really can't deal with stuff like this, it sucks me in and makes me wanna skip and smile and wink at people. Its too early in the morning to wink at people.

Snap! – Ladies!

11.25.2007 @ 4:13 AM in Lifestream

Snap! - Ladies!

Taken 25 Nov '07, 4.13am EST PST.

We in the ladies room tonight! Thanks to Lolo for the snap! We miss you betch!

Brobee Says Hello

11.23.2007 @ 11:03 PM in Lifestream
I figured a cell snap wasn't enough to feature the cutest new vinyl (ok, plush) edition to my desk. Meet Brobee, he's part of Kidrobot's hottest new collab with the kid's show Yo Gabba Gabba!, featuring him and his other pals, who I've yet to collect. [vimeo width="600" height="450"]http://www.vimeo.com/399924[/vimeo] And to catch just how twistedly good this show is, here's a video of his "Party in my Tummy song" [youtube width="600" height="501"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9PqjMSNfkU[/youtube]

The tubes are down

11.23.2007 @ 3:08 PM in Lifestream

The tubes are down

Taken 23 Nov '07, 3.08pm EST PST.

This is Brobee, from the newest line of Yo Gabba Gabba! toys at Hero Design. He is currently expressing my mood, because the internet is down at the office and I can't get any work done. I'm Sad. Guess I can go brave the Elmies and other hipsters on their semi annual jaunt down The Village.

Capture the Caption: Trannies say

11.19.2007 @ 3:52 PM in Lifestream
trannies.jpg Twas innocently scrolling through the flickr and noticed this gem of an old pic from Marcellas. These two upstanding members of the trans-something community have something to say. Please comment with the appropriate LOLcaption. The most engaging comment will make me update the pic with the winning LOLcaption.

Dr. Blackman hates Microsoft Gays, rallies Christians

11.19.2007 @ 1:53 PM in Lifestream
"I am a black man with a righteous cause with a whole host of powerful white people behind me." [flv width="600" height="450"]http://www.buffawhat.com/files/video/Ken_Hutcherson_speaking_to_Microsoft.flv[/flv]
  • From the Telgraph: An advocate of a "biblical stance" against divorce and homosexuality, Mr Hutcherson, 55, is asking millions of evangelical activists, as well as Orthodox Jewish and other allies, to buy up Microsoft shares and demand a return to traditional values. Microsoft, he declares, will be just the first company targeted in an escalation of the culture wars between evangelicals and corporate America. "There are 256 Fortune 500 companies alone pouring millions upon millions of dollars into pushing the homosexual agenda," he told The Daily Telegraph. "I consider myself a warrior for Christ. Microsoft don't scare me. I got God with me.
Quoting the Gizmodo, "fuck this guy." Not cause he's black, not cause he's a pansy ex football player following the path of Reggie White (to the end perhaps?), its because it makes no sense. Who the fuck cares if a couple of Microhomos wanna get healthcare together and save money a couple of bucks? This is not worth wasting the money of your 3500 member church and all the other religious groups you are calling for help to change the stance of one of the biggest companies in the world. Leave the fags alone, how about you work on your brothers on the field who are fucking up left and right, and destroying whats left of the sanctity of marriage that you think is so great. Get your own heterosphere fixed first bucko! Fighting against the fags is a losing game now. Why don't you get this?