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The Gingerbread Dunny Fiasco: Part 1

12.11.2007 @ 2:33 PM in Lifestream
I don't get how Jennifer does it with her house parties and cookie days. I'm a big ole homo and I can say one thing: domestic shit is hard. It didn't used to be that way, a long time ago in the safety of a country kitchen I could whip up a storm of confectionery delights, pies, cookies, cakes, whatever. Christmas was the season of diabeetus. Nowadays, I can hardly stand to eat a cookie, and I haven't baked anything since before 2006. This year I was determined to end it... and this is part one of what started as a simple homage to jennifer with a nice little domestic cookie post, and spiraled into so much more.

The plan

  • I picked up the Gingerman Dunny from Hero not too long ago and inside was this little teensy recipe for gingerbread cookies. I thought "thats kinda cool, I should make these cookies for real and shape them like dunny's."
  • Concept at hand I grabbed Angel by the ear and we skipped gayly to Tops, then to the Dollar store, then to Target, then back to Tops to get supplies. See, I haven't cooked or baked in so long I don't have any of those grande essentials like a mixer, a cookie tray, or even a rolling pin. I also found out that spices are expensive as hell, especially ginger.
  • Oops! Forgot last Friday that Block Party had a little shin-dig going and we were invited. Angel and I stashed the bags in his store and we made our way next door to mingle for a few. At that time, I realized that one of my intended recipients for the cookies has a gluten allergy. No worries, we headed to the Lexington and picked up gluten free rice flour. I was determined to make what sounded like a good thing: gluten free gingerbread cookies.

The First Try

ingredients_s.jpg [Heineken, baking soda, whole wheat flour, cinnamon, baking powder, candy dots, Brobee, icing tips, organic molasses, red, white, and blue icing, ridiculously small recipe, rice flour, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, shortening, Labbit, Buffawhat]
  • All seemed well. I commenced to making the dough, and despite my initial forrowing at the recipe, I was going to play by its rules, save for the rice flour. Angel was around to yell at me for being messy, and to document the occasion. I was gonna have an AllThingsJennifer Post goddamit.
  • Cue the photos...
step1.jpg step2.jpg
  • After letting the dough chill for a few hours... we return and immediately notice a problem: its not very doughy. Oh well I say, thats 'cause of the rice flour. I make the best of it and toss a batch of misshapen dunnies in the oven.
  • Failure seems imminent as they melt into puddles of something, something unholy and dark.
  • bollocks. An immediate racking of the brain to solve failure pops with the realization that I missed one key ingredient in this new world of gluten-free baking: Xantham Gum. Not your conventional spice -- actually, not a spice at all, derived from fermentation of glucose -- xantham gum is what you use to substitute for gluten, which helps to hold everything together.
  • Oh well, I guess we won't have gluten-free ginger Dunny's then. It was a good try but I wanted them made; I decided to make them glutenous and the way God intended.

Second Fail, and first success.

Even after letting the second batch chill overnight, the same melted mess came out of the oven. A hard look at the recipe and a call to Mummra revealed that the card that came with the Dunny's was bogus. Not enough flour and shortening instead of butter made the batter too runny. The new recipe was 2 cups of flour, half a cup of molasses, stick of butter, with the rest of the ingredients staying the same (baking powder, baking soda, salt, cloves, ginger, nutmeg, cinnamon). This was guaranteed to work..... (come back later tonight to see the read the rest of the story and see the finished products)

Dolce&Gabbana: Gay Gay Gay

12.11.2007 @ 10:27 AM in Lifestream
Angel mentioned to me that Dolce and Gabbana were running this ad on MTV and other cable stations. Whadayathink? D&G has a tendancy to do a lot of gay-centric advertising, I guess cause homos are the only ones silly enough to spend a couple grand on a watch. [youtube width="600" height="501"][/youtube] Ps. here's a look at the gay ending to the latest Levi's Commercial. [youtube width="600" height="501"][/youtube]

SFW: Fark wants to trademark NSFW

12.10.2007 @ 3:50 PM in Technology
hasselhoff Not much to this story: Fark, who I completely forgot about until I was Totalfarked (no clue, its like a elite net hipster version of reddit) not too long ago, says they should own the rights to NSFW. Why? Cause they think they can. Claiming they were cool since 7 years ago, Drew Curtis and his hipster boys from FARK want to own the acronym we all come to trust and recognize as the guardian of a juicy link that's not worth losing a 401k over.
  • The act applies to: Entertainment Services namely providing a website featuring photographic, audio, video and prose presentations featuring comedic captions regarding current events and online discussions and/or reviews of web materials of an adult nature; Entertainment services, namely, providing a web site featuring musical performances, musical videos, related film clips, photographs, and other multimedia materials; Entertainment services, namely, providing on-line reviews of photogrpahs and /or web postings of an adult nature
Thats it, I'm trademarking ROFLCOPTERS and LOLLERSKATES, I am teh Pwnrs of teh markz of ASCIISMZ.

Indian Blood: Buffalo History Lesson for Christmas.

12.10.2007 @ 3:14 PM in Buffalo
Indian Blood
  • This story is set in Buffalo, on December 25, 1946. INDIAN BLOOD takes you back to a time when bad manners were a catastrophe and foul language was unheard of coming from a young boy’s mouth. A warm and delightful comedy that is both heartwarming and funny, INDIAN BLOOD centers on an incident in the lives of two cousins who cause trouble at The Nichols School. They blame their “Indian blood” for the mischief that they cause. Packed with references to Buffalo-area points of interest, this show will surely delight local audiences. 
You need an imagination to enjoy this show. That sounds snarky, but really; 50% of each scene is invisible, placed only by the thorough description of young Eddie, who has to jump put of character in order to exposit.  Thank God for the upstanding and charismatic performance of Ronald Wendschuh as "Grandfather," who swept in at the perfect moments to revitalize the air and keep me awake for the rest of the show. Indian Blood I hope the first paragraph is enough to satisfy those in search of a real structured review of Indian Blood, because I can't really give one. I liked it, I didn't love it, but I'd tell anyone to go. It's a Buffalo play, set in Buffalo, writ by a Buffalonian, and riddled with enough references to make any out of towner feel like a local. I dare a group of friends to play Buffalo Buzzword Bingo, just hold your victory shout to a nudge, lest the aisle-nazis get you. 3.jpg Despite the slow start, give the show a chance, and perhaps you'll catch what makes this play a great addition to the holiday spirit: "Indian Blood shows that no matter what the heyday of Buffalo was, families were still fucked up, Poles have always been funny, and family is the absolute strongest thing anyone can have in this city."

CompUSA is No More

12.08.2007 @ 6:12 PM in Technology
  • LOS ANGELES, Dec 7 (Reuters) - CompUSA, the computer and gadget retailer controlled by Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim, has been sold to a restructuring and investment firm that will close stores and sell some company assets. The new owner is Boston-based Gordon Brothers Group, which recently helped CompUSA sell under-performing stores. The terms of the deal were not not disclosed. Dallas-based CompUSA said on Friday that active discussions are underway to sell its technical services business, CompUSA TechPro, its online sales operation,, and select stores in key markets. The chain's 103 retail stores will remain open and staffed during the holiday season, offering discounts on computer and electronics ahead of the planned store closures.
First, Liquidation of over 100 stores; this was expected as Slim has been trying to get rid of his investment in the flailing dead company for some time. I'm sure Best Buy is reveling in this news. On that note, did you notice we have almost more Best Buys than Walmarts in the Buffalo area?

Speed Racer: Trailer and Stills released

12.08.2007 @ 5:24 PM in Culture
Speed Racer is the first major thing we've seen from the Wachowski Brothers Siblings since The Matrix trilogy. Whether it will trump Neo and Morpheus in regards to immersion and sory, I dunno. however, I can say that the CGI-effects look pretty baddass and seem to be plenty of that to go around. [flv width="600" height="450"][/flv] I'm not really a fan of cartoon to live action movies, however their success seems to be a toss up... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles made me sad, but Transformers completely rocked the plane. Joe Silver, Speed Racer's Producer, thinks has a real winner this time; his "trump cards" being the Wachowski's and the asian-trippy-CGI graphics visualizations that he calls "car-fu." Racer jets(sorry) off into theaters March 2008. speedracer speedracer speedracer speedracer speedracer speedracer speedracer speedracer

Want: The Christmas Gadget List.

12.07.2007 @ 3:19 PM in Technology
I think I've been very well behaved this year. I mean, compared to 2006, i haven't:
  • Broken any ex's ribs
  • Slept with any ordained minister
  • Been to an orgy
Er, The last one is debatable on NYS statutes. Anyhoo, this is my official obligatory holiday wish list.

DEK: Designer Emulation Kits

  • The Designer Emulation Kits (DEK’s for short) are meant as the sincerest homage to some of the greatest modern designers of our time. The lamps and designers being “emulated” have a particular importance. They are represented in countless design tomes extolling the various movements, and they are held up as prime examples of “good design.” Deks are simple, and in that simplicity you have a conversation piece and a new lamp, albeit a small lamp.
  • $29.95, choose from five different designs.
  • Buy {Mike McKenna}

KidRobot: Stocking Stuffer Bundles

  • Blind Box toys give you hope, and Kidrobot makes you cool. as I heavily stress, vinyl toys are way better things to clutter your desk with than stuffy papers... makes you look more creative than you really are. Now with the Stocking Stuffer Kits from KidRobot, you can get an assortment of toys from various designers and kick start any new collection.. Of course these also rock for the avid collector since each set has either the series 4 Dunny's or some other Frank Kozik inspired awesomeness.
  • Everyone You Know Stocking Stuffers -$69.95, includes: 3 Bent World Vandals, 3 Scary Girl, 3 Smorkin' Labbit Series 3, 3 Fat Caps, 3 Dr. Ledoux Critter Splitter, 3 Dekoboko Friend Zipper Pull, 3 Sket-bots
  • Spiked Eggnog Stocking Stuffers -$99.95, includes: 5 Dunny Series 4, 5 Scary Girl, 2 Brockman Light Series 2, 3 Tofu Swing Sweets, 5 Dr. Ledoux Critter Splitter, 5 Heatherette The Empire, 5 Sket-bots
  • Buy {kidrobot}

Nabaztag/tag: The unpronounceable rabbit who reads the web

  • Don't try to pronounce it, just recognize that its the cutest feed-reading API powered gizmo to ever grace your desk, that is, if you are geek enough to adopt one.
  • Everything on the Internet spoken, sang, played, and danced by the most adorable and obliging of Rabbits
  • Blinks, moves ears, speaks, plays music
  • Reads out loud written texts in 16 languages
  • Obeys spoken commands through voice recognition
  • Detects and reacts to objects’ presence (RFID reader)
  • Feeds on the Internet. Reacts to anything happening on the web
  • Gives short news with speech & color-coded lights (weather, stock market…)
  • Reads out loud real time news from any web site (RSS)
  • Plays Podcasts and Internet radio at user defined schedule
  • Reads, sings, and dances messages and e-mails sent by friends
  • Chat with other Rabbit owners through voice, music and ear movements
  • Ability to create your own content and applications (API)
  • Easy to program
  • An ever expanding set of free content and services
  • Connects to a Wi-Fi network and works even when the computer is turned off
  • And much, much more…
  • $189.00
  • Buy {Zstore}

DIY: Neon Sign Kit

  • expensivish, but whats the price to have your name in light? $92.90, if you happen to be Buffawhat.
  • Up to 22 letters can be attached to one power supply
  • you buy the letters and numbers at $6.99 each. Power supply kit is 29.99. Extention to stack signs is 6.95.
  • A-Z, 0-9, "@",".", and space pieces.
  • Did I mention its blue neon?
  • Buy {Think Geek}

iRobot: Roomba 570

  • Ok, so I actually own an older Roomba Discovery, but the 500's were just released with a 100% improvement to every feature. That means I need to add another member to the family. One for the office and one for home, ya digg?
  • These babies really work, and the rumors are true: as soon as you get one, you will fall in love with it and treat it with love and respect, as well as getting all defensive when someone calls you out for selling your soul to a robot that will one day be your master. Just remember, denial is bliss.
  • Covers 4 rooms on a single battery charge
  • Wireless Command Center
  • On-board Scheduling
  • Self-charging Home Base™
  • 2 Virtual Wall® Lighthouses
  • 1 each Replacement Beater & Bristle Brush
  • $399.99 (you can get a cheaper model, but why would you?)
  • Buy {iRobot}

Art lebedev: Optimus Maximus Keyboard

  • To think this thing was almost vaporware. The Optimus is special because we spent two years waiting and hoping and wishing, through the OLED supplier drop out, to the price drop and raise, and now you can pre-order it if you are lucky and maybe get it by March 2008
  • Every key of the Optimus Maximus keyboard is a stand-alone OLED display showing the function it is currently associated with
  • Optimus is equally good for any keyboard layouts—Cyrillic, Ancient Greek, Georgian, Arabic—and so on to infinity: notes, numerals, special symbols, HTML codes, math functions, images etc.
  • Every button on the keyboard is easy to remove in order to clean or replace.
  • Configurator software allows for programming every button to reproduce a sequence of symbols (up to 256) and editing the image separately for each layout.
  • Price: $1564.37 for the full 113-key edition.
  • Pre-order {Art Lebedev}

Nokia: NSeries 95 8GB Black

  • Out of Everything I listed, this is the one I want the mostest. evar. This phone would be the gateaway to a lot of the blogging video projects i've been meaning to do. GPS, Wifi, 5MP camera with dvd like video capture at 30FPS..... i can go on and on, but this phone is the real deal...
  • Up to 8GB internal flash memory for multimedia content such as music, pictures, ringing tones, map data
  • Large 2.8" QVGA (240 x 320 pixels) TFT display with ambient light detector and up to 16 million colors
  • 5 megapixel auto-focus camera
  • GPS and Wi-Fi
  • Quad-band GSM
  • Bluetooth
  • microSD/TransFlash up to 2GB / hot-swappable
  • 3D stereo
  • HSDPA and EDGE data capable
  • Version 2 of Nokia's full web browser software
  • Speakerphone
  • Price: $779.00 (unlocked)
  • Buy {Nokia}

MacHeist 2 Begins

12.07.2007 @ 9:51 AM in Technology
mh1.jpg Last year, any company that employed free software loving macheads took a 45% hit in productivity due to MacHeist, a type of internet scavenger hunt where you solve "heists" to gain access to free loot (OSX apps) and discounts on the big bundle at the end. Last year, we were sent from site to site, decrypting cyphers, and solving visual puzzles with pieces more separate from each other than the Jackson family. The loot comes from the ginormous developer community. Last year, we got Cha-ching, 1passwd, Captain FTP, and others, which all led up to a huge bundled grab bag which we applied discounts we earned to get it for next to nothing. With Heist #1 underway, the puzzle seems to be a bit more mixed media. No spoliers, but lets just say you better be on a mac for this one or you can't solve it. This poses a difficulty for me, as I won't be on a mac till christmas (I hope), but i'm following what I can on teh office PC. So, if you are on a mac, you love puzzles, and you want free stuff, get on board and don't let your boss catch you when time comes to print out a sundial on the office printer.

I Found My Christmas Tree

12.06.2007 @ 9:12 PM in Culture
christmas.jpg I stopped into Positively Main St, on Elmwood (makes no sense, I know) and picked up this year's christmas tree. It's a little small, but I needed something to top last year's snowbot purchase. Whadaya think? the homos on Elmwood have deemed this a red Christmas (Studio 806, Stuyvesant Gallery, Just Pizza, Room... all red and white lights) so the lights are in style and they chase up and down.

Lenovo Offers “Top Seller” Laptops with XP, not Vista FTW

12.06.2007 @ 1:51 PM in Technology
Lenovo Thinkpad T61 Interested in buying a business laptop, but don't want to puts your company assests and productivity in the hands of Vista just yet (or ever?). Lenovo's Thinkpad T61 "Top Seller"  Laptops, specifically these three part numbers: 6465-03U, 7658-04U, and 7664-06U , are now available today with an option to ship preloaded with XP Professional. Think Pads are the bee knees, Still. I forgot how much I loved them until I got the opportunity to refresh my co-worker's G41 model. Granted, the legacy drivers are a betch to gather up on the old ones, but the new models carry the clout of today with the bad-ass old school hacker look.  Drop some XP or win2k, and you have the perfect small business laptop, period. And thats totally biased and opinionated, and I'm staying that way. Way to go Lenovo!
  • ThinkPad T61 646503U -$1,099 (15.4-in WXGA TFT (1280 x 800), Integrated Fingerprint Reader, Bluetooth wireless technology, Intel® Core 2 Duo processor T7250, Mobile Intel GM965 Express Chipset, Intel GMA X3100 Integrated Graphics, 100 GB/7200 rpm, CD-RW/DVD-ROM Combo, 1 GB (1 Dimm), Intel PRO/Wireless, 3945ABG, 6-cell battery, Express Card, Microsoft® Windows XP Professional)
  • ThinkPad T61 765804U - $1,099 (14.1-in WXGA TFT (1280 x 800),Integrated Fingerprint Reader, Bluetooth wireless technology, Intel® Core 2 Duo processor T7250, Mobile Intel GM965 Express Chipset, Intel GMA X3100 Integrated Graphics, 100 GB/7200 rpm, CD-RW/DVD-ROM Combo, 1 GB (1 DIMM), Intel PRO/Wireless 3945ABG, 4-cell battery, Express Card, Microsoft® Windows XP Professional)
  • ThinkPad T61 766404U - 1,299 (14.1-in) WXGA+ TFT (1440 x 900), Bluetooth wireless technology, Integrated Fingerprint Reader, Intel Core 2 Duo processor T7500, Mobile Intel PM965 Express Chipset, NVIDIA Quadro NVS 140M, 100 GB/7200 rpm, CD-RW/DVD-ROM Combo 1 GB (1 DIMM), Intel PRO/Wireless WiFi 4965AGN, 4-cell battery, Express Card, Microsoft Windows XP Professional)
  • List price; does not include tax or shipping and is subject to change without notice. Reseller prices may vary.