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Mike Seen in Public Spending Time with Boyfriend

03.12.2007 @ 8:01 PM in Lifestream

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Oh My God. What a scandal.... the very thought Mike, that we were seen in public, alone, in a movie theatre... someone might think we are dating...  I wanted to see 300. It came out on IMAX... I am geek for IMAX.. so is Mike's best friend Opie... So... perfect plan... we all go see 300 on IMAX, get the wives together.. one big disfunctional family. Hitch... Mike hates IMAX... something about having too much screen to look at. Mike would turn away a diamond because it was too shiny.  So... he drags me out Sunday... to see 300 alone... just me and him.  he thinks he won.  He's off the hook seeing it on IMAX... and thwarted my plans again... He's wrong. I'll just go see it again with Opie, but all I ever wanted was just to spend time with him... and he gave me something more special... Alone time.  He hates alone time more than IMAX. I honestly don't know why he's like this... But I do know he's always like this.  I'm dating a rubiks cube with all the stickers peeled off. I can't ever sort him out. Once, I think I get a side of him that might last, the rest falls to bits  and he tries to compensate for that lapse in "jerk-holeness." But I have him... he's mine. He holds me like I belong, I fit perfect, with my head on his fuzzy chest nuzzled into his warmth. He has never told me he loved me, or even that he likes me, or at the least that he's happy. He shows me, though... when I catch him looking at me like I look at him, when he grabs me and pulls me close. when his lips are locked with mine. I'm a patient man, maybe too patient. I see what we could be, but I don't hold any hope for it. It's been too long and yet it's still so early to even think of settling. He says we are married, I feel like we are.  I feel like we skipped dating, ditched the wedding, couldn't afford the honeymoon, and now I'm in the 7-year itch. This isn't right, a relationship shouldn't act like this... four months and already calling him the wife seems so nonchalant... It's so messed up, its wrong, its absurd,  but... does any of that matter if...... I'm happy. How can I be ok with this? I just am. Why do I feel the most stable in the most fucked up relationship ever? It worked out like that. Why do I defend the insanity of it all when everyone tells me that I should move on to someone that is worth my affections? Because I love him, and Mike is worth my affections. I do want to kill him. I think that's healthy, yes? He brings out the worst in me, and tosses away the best like a 1st draft.  He fights my every move and goes to elaborate trouble just to fizzle my plans... unknowing that all I ever really wanted was to be with him, and in all his fervor to thwart me, he gives me all of that.
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